Treatment provided by
Deanna #19 in The Large Q
Adrenal Exhaustion, Lifelong Stress, anxiety, trauma, suppression of emotions inability to cope with day to day life, untimely emotional breakdowns
$1,578.00 of $2,645.00 funded
Lifelong stress and pushing myself too hard.
Grew up in a seemingly “perfect family “, father verbally abused us, fought with my mother all the time, dad worked hard and pushed himself and us, my mother ran a daycare in our home and our job was to help her with the daycare, clean up, play with the kids. My dad wanted a boy so I was taught to not show my emotions and be tough, my father never called me Deanna, always Charlie, somehow I gathered enough strength to stand up to him and asked him not to call me Charlie , so he decided that he still wouldn’t call me Deanna and Peanut was my new name. Since my dad had a very bad temper, my mom always told us to be quiet good girls and not to upset our father.
I was a competitive swimmer for 10 years, did really well so my competitive father pushed me hard to the point where my stress level was incredibly high and I always had an intense stomach ache before each race. I gave up trying to better myself as a competitive swimmer cuz I was so exhausted and didn’t want to be pushed anymore.
My sister was controlling, she found it necessary to answer for me and make decisions.
When I was 18 my father decided that my best girlfriend was taking advantage of me financially and forced me to end my friendship with her.
I crashed my parents car when I was 18 and I spun, I was embarrassed and knew that they were disappointed in me, I took a bunch of painkillers and went to the beach to think - I love the water and beach, my happy place - I must not have been thinking cuz I decided to swim across the lake (done a few times before) but the painkillers got the best of me and I passed out. My parents didn’t believe that I wasn’t trying to kill myself so they put me in the psychiatric ward of the hospital.
After that, I wanted to be as far away from my family as possible so I traveled and worked. Moving every year or so, going from job to job never letting anyone know me and hiding my true self. I stayed away for 3 years then came back to university and I met my ex-husband. My ex-husband was a very unhappy man, we moved cities every year of our 10-year marriage and finally, I gave up trying to get him to be happy and asked him to leave. I had finally conquered my weight and had friends, I was in a good place. Once he left the exhaustion and loneliness set in, I was training for Boston Marathon but I was so tired and hungry. I gained 30 pounds in 4 months during marathon training and had my 8th miscarriage 3 weeks before I ran Boston (didn’t realize that I was 4months pregnant). I was completely drained when I got back from Boston. I worked from the bed, laptop in hand for over a year and the weight piled back on, after 2 years I had gained back the 120 pounds I had lost. Diagnosed with adrenal fatigue in May of 2017, I was finally being helped but there was a lot of damage already done. I had a new man in my life and we wanted to have a child, I knew there was a slim chance I could get pregnant but by some amazing miracle we successfully conceived in September 2017, Freya was born in May 2018. My body borrowed what it needed from my pregnancy and unborn. When Freya was 2 months old I broke my ankle, it was awful and debilitating. For the first time in my life, I was just plainly unable to do everything I needed to do by myself no matter how hard I tried. I spiraled, ate my feelings and tried counseling. It helped temporarily but the strong emotions kept coming up and my stomach pain grew more and more intense. I thought I was getting it all under control and then my mother-in-law - to be, passed away on January 3rd, 2019. We were here primary caregivers and she lived with us, I had to step up and take care of my family so I am pushing myself really hard right now to take care of the household and, yet again, pushing my emotions down.
How will this treatment impact Deanna's life?
Able to find joy in life again, calm inner peace, take care of my family, raise my daughters without the same inner turmoil and stress that I have lived my whole life with (almost 40 years), be calm and confident in business interactions so that I can keep my job and not stress that I may lose it because I’m worried about emotional outbursts or exhaustion due to stress